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On occasion, a 22-year-old from Los Angeles believes he is “the most exceptional individual alive”. As a diagnosed narcissist, his periods of extreme self-importance can become “really delusional”, he explains. You feel invincible and you tell yourself, ‘People will see that I stand above others … I will achieve remarkable feats for the world’.”

In his case, these phases of exaggerated self-worth are usually coming after a “emotional downturn”, where he feels deeply emotional and embarrassed about his actions, making him particularly vulnerable to disapproval from others. He came to wonder he might have this personality condition after investigating his behaviors online – and subsequently confirmed by a specialist. Yet, he doubts he would have agreed with the assessment unless he had independently formed that conclusion personally. “If you try to tell somebody that they have the condition, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he says – particularly if they feel feelings of superiority. They operate in an altered state that they’ve built up. And within that framework, No one compares to me and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Clarifying NPD

Though people have been identified with narcissism for more than a century, the meaning can be ambiguous what is meant by the diagnosis. People frequently term everybody a narcissist,” states an expert in narcissism, who believes the word is “overused” – but when it comes to a professional assessment, he notes many people hide it, as there is widespread prejudice associated with the illness. Someone with NPD will tend to have “an exaggerated self-image”, “impaired compassion”, and “a strategy of using people to bolster one’s self-esteem through actions such as pursuing power,” the expert clarifies. Those with NPD may be “deeply egotistical”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he states.

I never truly valued about anyone really, so I’ve never taken relationships seriously

Variations by Gender in The Disorder

Though three-quarters of people found to have the condition are men, research points out this statistic does not mean there are less female narcissism, but that narcissism in women is typically appears in the vulnerable narcissism type, which is less commonly diagnosed. “Men’s narcissism tends to be a bit more accepted, as with everything in society,” says an individual who shares content on her NPD and borderline personality disorder (BPD) on online channels. Frequently, the two disorders are comorbid.

Individual Challenges

I find it difficult with handling criticism and rejection,” she says, whenever it’s suggested that I am at fault, I tend to switch to self-protection or I become unresponsive.” Although experiencing this behavior – which is known as “self-esteem damage”, she has been working to manage it and take advice from her support system, as she strives not to return into the damaging patterns of her previous life. I used to be manipulative to my partners in my youth,” she admits. With professional help, she has been able to reduce her narcissistic traits, and she notes she and her significant other “have a dynamic where we’ve agreed, ‘Should I make a harmful comment, when I use toxic language, address it {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

Her upbringing primarily in the care of her father and explains there was an absence of healthy examples as a child. “I’ve been learning over the years what is suitable or harmful to say when arguing because it wasn’t modeled for me in my formative years,” she comments. Every insult was fair game when my relatives were criticizing me during my childhood.”

Origins of The Condition

These mental health issues tend to be linked to difficulties as a child. Heredity is a factor,” explains a consultant psychiatrist. But, when someone exhibits NPD characteristics, it is often “tied to that specific childhood circumstances”. Those traits were “a survival tactic in some ways to cope in formative years”, he continues, when they may have been ignored, or only shown love that was based on meeting specific standards. They then “rely on those identical strategies as adults”.

Like several of the individuals with NPD, one individual thinks his parents “may be narcissists themselves”. The individual shares when he was a child, “everything was all about them and their work and their social life. So it was like, keep your distance.” When their attention turned to him, it came in the form of “significant demands to achieve good grades and professional advancement, he notes, which made him feel that if he didn’t meet their standards, he wasn’t “acceptable.

In adulthood, none of his relationships ever worked out. I didn’t truly value about anyone really,” he says. “So I’ve never taken relationships seriously.” He believed he wasn’t loving someone, until he met his present significant other of three years, who is facing similar challenges, so, in a comparable situation, struggles with feelings. She is “very supportive of the thoughts that occur in my head”, he says – it was in fact, her who initially thought he might have NPD.

Seeking Help

Following an appointment to his general practitioner, an assessment was arranged to a mental health professional for an diagnosis and was informed of his condition. He has been put forward for talking therapy via government-funded care (ongoing counseling is the only treatment that has been proven effective NPD patients, specialists note), but has been on the waiting list for 18 months: “They said it is likely to occur maybe February or March next year.”

Disclosure was limited to a small circle about his condition, because “there’s a big stigma that the disorder equates to toxicity”, but, personally, he has come to terms with it. This understanding allows me to gain insight into my behavior, which is always a good thing,” he comments. Each individual have accepted their narcissism and are looking for support for it – hence being willing to talk about it – which is probably not representative of all people with the diagnosis. But the presence of NPD content creators and the expansion of digital groups point to {more narcissists|a growing number